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If you want better sex, then forget about sex! As counter intuitive as it sounds, don’t think about how to have more or better sex. Yes, there are numerous techniques that can be learned and improved upon. And there is vast information on the art of seduction but if you want better sex then forget about it and get back to basics. Literally!

It’s the little things that build connection. There’s a glue that bonds and leads to better sex. It occurs in the tiny moments and those tiny moments have the power to move mountains. It’s all about building erotic connection by building heart connection.

When is the last time you held hands, or took a moment to caress the back of your partner’s neck? When did you last make a conscious effort to look at your partner from across the room and give them a smile of appreciation – just for being who they are? You may not think these things have anything to do with having better sex, but they do.

If you want better sex then forget about it and place your attention on what makes sex sexy.

Focus on your erotic life instead of your sex life. What’s the difference? Sex is what you do. Erotic is what makes sex sexy!

When you gently place your hand on your partner’s lower back, or gaze in appreciation, you are saying, without words, “I care”, “I think you’re wonderful”, “I value you”. When you’re the recipient of these beautiful gestures you feel all warm and tingly. You feel safe and desired. And when you feel good, safe and desired – desire builds within you. That’s sexy and erotic!  It’s the base for great sex!

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Yes, if you want better sex there are bedroom skills that will rock both of your worlds. But even the best techniques can fall flat without erotic desire based in heart connection. There are opportunities to nurture your partner’s heart at any given moment. Be aware, awake and present. Instead of sleep walking through your daily routines, look for ways to take an extra moment to connect.

Have coffee or a glass of wine together without the TV on or personal devices at your finger tips. Talk. Ask questions to learn more about each other. Listen with full attention. Create rituals such as this to heart connect. Place your attention on giving attention outside of the bedroom then use that same principal between the sheets. That’s wow!

If you want better sex, forget about it!

Live a happy, sexy life!

Dr. Gayle Friend

ps. Click here to learn how to build heart connection for great sex.