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When you surrender really amazing things can shift that result in deeper love & intimacy and better sex.

Relationships can be full of awkward moments, nerves and worries – especially when it comes to intimacy and sex. Different situations and challenges come at us from all directions and it can feel overwhelming. So what do we do? If we hold on tight to the idea of how we wish things would be, we wind up making it a lot harder on ourselves.

Surrendering isn’t a weakness, it’s about giving up the struggle inside. It’s about letting go of the stuff that holds you back. It’s about surrendering to new possibilities.

So here’s the lowdown on surrender and what I help clients with:

LOVE: Surrendering into love leaves you open to hurts, fears and possible rejection. But if you don’t surrender into love you don’t get to experience all the joys, the highs, exquisite connection and fulfillment.

The opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s fear. So to surrender into love means surrendering fear so you CAN love deeply.

INTIMACY: The way to surrender into intimacy is to let go of your limiting beliefs about being open, vulnerable and sharing emotions. I talk to so many people who say they don’t feel seen, heard or known and understood in their relationship and yet they hold back and don’t share themselves.

I get that it’s hard to surrender when your ego is screaming at you that you’re not safe to share yourself at that level. The reality is the more intimately connected you are, the safer you are because understanding replaces fear.

DESIRE: Sexual desire happens when you surrender. Low sexual desire most often stems from intimacy concerns. And what happens is you end up shutting down sexual desire because something else isn’t fulfilling.

Surrendering into intimacy will help you surrender into desire. Desire happens when you allow yourself to tune into your unique sexuality instead of shutting it down.

Surrender resentments and resistance you hang onto and let your body lead the way. You can’t selectively shut down desire without it shutting down the good in other areas of your life. Surrender and enjoy a delicious part of life and relationships.

The key to bliss is to surrender. Click To Tweet

SEX: Surrender the mind chatter you’ve got going on about what sex means and how you show up sexually. Surrender your thoughts about whether your body is good enough. Surrender your attachment to outcome and whether or not you’ll have an orgasm. Surrender to the sensations of your body.

This is when ‘okay’ sex becomes truly amazing. Instead of being in your head you’ll be enjoying what comes naturally.

You’ll be more authentic and tuned into the pleasures of your body and the love in your heart.

How do you surrender?

Surrender happens with patience, practice and awareness. Be aware of your resistances and thoughts and emotions that come up. When you feel resistant, question it and see if you can surrender into a different and more empowering thought that lifts you up. Surrender into love, intimacy, desire and sex and watch your world light up.


Dr. Gayle Friend

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