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Feeling safe, secure and confident in your world gives you the freedom to put yourself out there, connect deeply, explore sexually and live life fully.

But how do you find your way back to connection when you’re feeling overwhelmed and dealing with uncertainty? How do you reconnect with your partner after days, weeks or maybe years of feeling uneasy?

How do you reconcile conflicting thoughts and feelings? Feelings of hopelessness contrast with hope. Feelings of skepticism contrast with longing.

Short answer – slowly.

The division within each partner needs to heal along with the division between them.

Love is healing and love is the path to peace. This is what I work with clients on – how to make love great.

Subconsciously you were methodical in creating disconnection. You have to be consciously methodical in creating intimate connection.

When a couple is disconnected they’re each in a state of self-protection. It’s impossible to have a wall around your heart and feel emotionally and sexually free.

After a small injustice, you place your hands around your heart. Then something else happens and you surround your heart with a wall. As time goes on you encase the wall in concrete. And it continues until you’ve built a solid metal fortress around your heart in an attempt to protect it.

But what you’ve really done is made yourself a prisoner because you can’t feel love if you’ve shut love down.

When you’re disconnected, you’re focused on the separateness – what’s missing. When you’re connected, you’re focused on what you want to feel and finding evidence to support that.

Start by focusing on healing your own hurts and disconnection by recognizing the limiting beliefs your mind yatters on about. Then choose an opposing thought.

Give love a shot. Just for today notice everything you love about yourself. Just for today notice everything you love about your partner. Just for today, catch yourself and turn a negative thought into an appreciation.

Give passion a shot. When’s the last time you nurtured yourself?

Make a list of everything that makes you happy and choose to do something from that list. Click To Tweet

Just for today choose love, choose passion and choose to bring a better version of yourself forward. Intimacy is the gateway to great sex and love that lasts! Choose to share a positive intimate thought or feeling. Fear keeps you stuck. Love heals and moves you forward.

Live a happy, sexy life!

Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. This is only the beginning. If any part of this resonates and you want more, sign up for my 3 part video series on love, intimacy and sex today. Start making love great – it’s FREE!