Relationships can be deliciously breathtaking and at times ridiculously frustrating. It depends in part how we react or respond to relationship challenges. Here’s a list of opportunities where relationships provide us the option to step in and grow, rather than resist and struggle.
- Embrace change. Nature isn’t stagnant and we’re part of nature. Don’t expect things to be the way they were in the beginning because they won’t ever be. But they can be better and richer.
- Learn how to love deeply. Yourself and your partner. Your partner’s role is not to make you happy. You WILL annoy each other. Learn how to love even when they aren’t loveable.
- Kick your ego to the curb. Instead of letting your mind and ego take the wheel, find ways to connect intimately. Feel into love and lead with your heart.
- Accept imperfections. Life and relationships are messy. Instead of blaming your partner and focusing on what’s wrong, look for the beauty and the positives.
- Develop empathy. We all have hurts and empathy is hard when our ego wants to be heard. Put your ego on the shelf for a few moments, listen and feel your partner’s experience.
- Learn to fight fair. Own your anger without rage or shutting down. Even the happiest of couples argue. It’s not that you DO argue – it’s how you argue and how you resolve things that matters.
- Be a person of integrity. Yes, the old adage, “actions speak louder than words” is true so hold yourself accountable. Honor your word with your actions.
- Choose positive over negative. Assume that your partner is doing the best they can in any moment based on what they’re experiencing. Let go of negative mind chatter.
- Step into vulnerability. It requires courage making it a strength, not a weakness. Not being vulnerable is easy and an argument can be made that it’s a weakness.
- Build resilience. Know that things won’t be all rainbows and orgasms. Learn what you need to nurture yourself and your spirit and do it often to build resilience.
- Surrender control. Loosen your grip so you don’t face resistance. Remember Newton’s 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
- Stay true to yourself. Be authentic. You can’t please everyone and you can’t please your partner all of the time. Respect your own values.
- Be present. You can’t change the past or predict the future. The present is the only place you can make a choice. And every moment provides a new opportunity.
- Respond instead of react. Responses are thought out. Your first thought might be how you could respond in anger but if you stay with it and allow yourself to soften you’ll find a respectful response.
- Heal your wounds. Understanding that when you’re triggered it’s an opportunity to make a choice to heal and grow. Pursue your purpose of healing your hurts.
These are all things I teach in depth when I work with people to help them deepen love, grow close & intimate, and have great sex. When you learn how to do these things fully, there are far more times of fulfillment and fewer frustrating relationship challenges.
Live a happy, sexy life!
Dr. Gayle Friend
p.s. Want to discover 15 secrets not listed here that people in fulfilling relationships do? Sign up today and learn what they know!