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It’s human nature to want to know you’re normal. And a question I regularly receive is “When it comes to making love, how often is average?”

A man I was having a conversation with asked me this very thing. And he was disappointed when I wouldn’t give him a specific answer. Here’s why I didn’t:

Statistics can be misleading.

And it can be difficult to obtain accurate results. Take 100 people who are in a committed relationship and ask them individually how often they have sex. For many reasons people carry beliefs and concerns of being judged for either their sexual prowess or lack thereof. Often, due to this, even with the best of intentions, study subjects can under or over-estimate their own average.

And what is average anyway. How often is average for making love? Well – what age group are we talking about? Are there health concerns that bring the average down? Does one partner travel for business and does this bring the average down? Has a couple recently become empty nesters and have the whole house as their playground again, bringing the average up? Or does a couple have kids of any age living in the house with them?

Averages, in my opinion, don’t belong in a discussion about how often a couple has sex.

How often one couple has sex may be a foreign concept to another couple.

My very specific reason for not giving a specific answer is this: My main concern is that out of context, people might misuse a statistic to either manipulate their partner into having more sex or use it as proof that they don’t have to have sex any more often than they already do. Plain and simple. That’s it.

As long as both partners are happy, that’s what counts. If there’s a discrepancy about desire between partners there are ways to draw both closer together in understanding. When it comes to making love and how often is average, I say this: Whatever is average for you is average for you. Relax and enjoy!

Live a happy, sexy life!

Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. If your love life isn’t what you wish it was, let’s talk about it. Find out more now!

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