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Fear is a natural emotion. I don’t believe we can ever move past fear – so why do we bother trying. I think so many people live in fear of their fear. Afraid they’ll always be afraid thus perpetuating their experience of it.

We have a tendency to deny our fear or push it down, thinking of it as a weakness when what it is, is an indicator that we’ve bumped up against our growing edge. An opportunity for growth.

Fear tells us that we are unsure of the outcome or we’re in new territory and that feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable. But that’s all fear is.

Emotions are all indicators of what’s important to us.

Here’s the thing – fear and excitement feel similar in our bodies and the only difference is our perception and interpretation of what the experience is.

So let’s unpack and dissect fear so we can see it clearly.

When it comes to trying something new, or looking at relationship and sex is a new way, what are you afraid of? (in the video I suggest a myriad of possibilities to be aware of)

Unpack the baggage of fear by asking yourself a couple of the same questions I ask clients, ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ And what would be the worst thing about that?

And then ask yourself, ‘What possible benefit am I missing out on by holding myself back?’

This is why we get stuck in fear – we’re paralyzed by what ‘might’ go wrong instead of realizing that we have a choice to focus on the benefit of what ‘could’ be.

Growth. Something new. Something wonderful perhaps.

We get stuck in fear when we focus on what ‘might’ go wrong instead of what might go right. Click To Tweet

What if we made friends with our fear? I admit it might be a reluctant friendship but what if we accepted that fear, to some degree, may be a life long companion? And what if you gave your fear a name – Fearful Freddy, Fearful Frances – or just plain Chicken Shit? And what if when you felt fear you talked to it instead of allowing it to consume you?

“Come on Chicken Shit, we’re in this together. I’m going for it and taking this opportunity to grow into a better me.”
“Are you coming?”


Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. Isn’t it time to Make Love Great? Check it out!