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Vacation baggage and relationship baggage alike – unpacking sucks!

Almost 3 weeks after a great and much needed vacation, I finally finished unpacking and put away my bag. The kicker – I only took carry on! Everything I needed to unpack fit into a case 9” x 14” x 22” and it took 3 weeks to empty.

This happens every time I return from travels. Why does it take me so long? I think in part because, if it’s still partially packed then the vacation isn’t over. It’s comforting to have it there in spite of how many times I tripped over it. And I’m not someone who likes clutter – I tend to prefer things tidy. But I couldn’t let go.

It’s funny how we hang onto baggage we no longer need. And it’s something most of us do.

Everyone has baggage. If you’ve been a child, are now an adult and lived life, you have baggage.

Imagine you are born with an empty suitcase. Your higher self decides to incarnate knowing there’s a condition attached: You must bring a bag along for the journey of life as a human. And that bag will be with you for the duration. ‘No problem’ you think. The bag is empty and light. This won’t get in the way at all.

As you experience life, great things happen, and you dance with happiness, love, excitement, and passion because it feels so good. But you also experience hurt, rejection, fear and sadness, but you don’t know what to do with those things that don’t feel good, so you hide them away in your baggage. ‘That must be what it’s for’ you surmise.

By the time you’re an adult, and you’ve conformed to all the ‘shoulds’, and had your heart broken, your spirit starts to feel weighed down with the heavy baggage it’s carrying around. You try your best to ignore it but it’s always there – as per the condition that you’ll have the bag your entire life.

Every relationship you go into, your baggage comes with you. Every job you have, your baggage comes with you. Every single experience in life, you guessed it, your baggage is right there with you.

You finally get to the point where you can’t ignore it anymore and you want to unpack and lighten the load. But the prospect of doing so is daunting. Part of you doesn’t want to unpack because you put those yucky experiences and feelings away for a reason. So you procrastinate – even though you keep tripping over the baggage and it’s getting in the way of how you really want to live.

Unpacking sucks. Your baggage is comforting in an odd way because it’s so familiar. After all, it’s been with you throughout your lifetime. It feels really hard to open up your bag full of hurts. But the reality is this:

The thought of unpacking is scary. That moment before stepping out of your comfort zone is scary. But then you take one small step, and something shifts. Once you’ve taken that first step, there’s such a sweet relief that follows. And all of a sudden it’s no longer scary because you’ve lightened the load of your bag and you feel free.

Your comfort zone holds you back from living a full life. You’re worthy of more.

Every single client I have, without exception, goes through the same process. They’re tired of living with the burden of hurts. They’re excited about the possibilities that life holds. They’re at once apprehensive and open, eager for change. A few weeks in they feel uncomfortable and then when they least expect it – that sweet relief slowly sets in.

They’ve done it! They’ve unpacked and their life begins to open up in miraculous ways. The work of unpacking changes things, and you get to decide what you want instead of living life by default.

Life is a process of packing and unpacking your baggage. One step and one item at a time. Take the step. Click To Tweet

Life is a process of packing and unpacking your baggage. One step and one item at a time. Take the step. You are free to live life the way you desire, and make love great, in and out of the bedroom.


Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. Need help unpacking? I’m here for a quick chat to find out if this is right for you. Click here.