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Fulfillment is the amazing feeling of being whole and complete, and not lacking. But how do you get to that place? In the pursuit of happiness and fulfillment, what is it you look for?

A lot of people answer this by saying that if they had more money they’d be happier and more fulfilled.

On one level I get it. Money provides us the ability to go on vacations and do things that make us feel happy. Going to a concert, or a movie, or out for dinner. Buying a new vehicle to replace the one that keeps breaking down. Those things require money. But the happiness they provide is short lived.

When the vacation is over, you have great memories. When the dinner out is over, you have a full belly and the memory. They don’t offer lasting joy or fulfillment. It peaks and then it drops off.

Long-term fulfillment is deeper than that. It’s deeper than the shiny baubles.

Think of Ebenezer Scrooge. Old story. His life was miserable in the pursuit of attaining wealth. He kept himself distant from everyone. He didn’t want to know them and didn’t want to be known. If you recall this was how he learned to cope with layers of hurt from his youth. He didn’t find fulfillment until he made meaningful connections with the people around him.

In a romantic relationship, the more connected we are, the more whole and complete we feel. We feel fulfilled when intimacy is deep, love is strong and sex is great. It’s from there that our sexual connection has greater meaning, and depth and passion.

Deep connection doesn’t come from just sex. It doesn’t come from just loving your partner profoundly. It comes from intimately knowing each other and creating a meaningful bond – body, mind, heart and spirit.

That requires surrender. It means stepping out from behind your hurt into courage and vulnerability. It means showing up fully, allowing yourself to be known and willing to see and know your partner.

Shit will still happen in life. You’ll still have your relational ups and downs.

Perfection is a myth. But the more fulfillment you experience overall, the easier it is to weather the relational storms. Click To Tweet

Intimacy is the gateway to great sex and love that lasts. Don’t be like Scrooge. This is where true fulfillment can be found.


Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. People in fulfilling relationships feel the freedom to explore their eroticism. Start finding that freedom by watching this FREE 3 part video series on love, intimacy and sex now!