Have you ever had the experience of not feeling good and shutting yourself off from the things that would lift you up? How do you feel about the messages that you can do or have anything you desire? Do they lift you up? Or do they feed thoughts and feelings of inadequacy or bitterness?
The world is your oyster! You can have it all! Anything is possible! You are worthy!
When I was at my most jaded and skeptical place in life, my typical response to motivational quotes was… “Yeah right. When pigs fly.”
On the outside, I appeared happy but was drowning in an ocean of sorrow. Frustration was always on a low simmer waiting to boil over into anger and I was flooded with doubts about myself and my relationship. I wanted to feel good but these quotes felt overly simplistic.
I thought that the people blithering positivity were the ones who had it easy. Life was always working out for them and they were clueless as to the suffering that real people were experiencing. I didn’t believe a word of what they said was possible for me.
Fast forward, there are now people who think similar things about me. I know because of the occasional message I get accusing me of similar things I used to judge others for. But I know their reactions come from the hurt place inside them. I get it.
And there are others. The ones who have a glimmer of hope that maybe it is possible. The first thing I ask these ones who become clients is, ‘Are you committed to this relationship?’ The typical answer is, ‘Yes, but…’. They want to feel good but they don’t want to open up too much with their partner out of fear of being hurt yet again. I get this too.
Back when things were bad, I wanted my husband to change first. I claimed to be doing everything I could to make us work, but I knew deep inside that wasn’t true. I was afraid nothing would ever change, and I was tired of broken promises. Mine as well as his.
And I was right. Nothing did change – until I took control of the only thing I could – me! I was still reluctant to believe that anything is possible but I was committed to do what it would take.
The next question I ask clients (partnered or not) is, ‘Are you committed to you, to learning how to feel good as your true self?’ The typical answer to this one is, ‘Yes, but…’. They want this too, but they’re still hesitant to be vulnerable. And once more, I get it. Once bitten, twice shy.
This is where we start. Hesitant and weary with a smattering of hope.
Think of the old saying, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’. The key to that advice is ‘a day’ – in other words – consistency. As much as we wish there were magic pills, and magic wands, there’s still work to do, and it starts with a commitment to consistently. To consistently do small things a little at a time that will eventually lead to taking bigger steps, that will eventually lead to the changes you really want. Taking small first steps keeps you out of overwhelm and the sinking feeling that it will all be too much.
What do you do that keeps you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy? That thing that lifts you up and soothes your soul? What have you been resisting that could ultimately lead to more ease, flow and love in your life?
Think big but think small also. Re-reading a favorite book that always makes you feel good. Calling an old friend? Or dancing to uplifting music – just for you.
Start by committing to a morning practice to set the tone for your day. It doesn’t have to take much time and you can tailor it to suit you. My morning practice of meditation, movement and music fuels my day. It keeps me on track, grounds me and lifts me up. It’s my apple a day for my body, mind, heart and spirit. It’s my apple a day for love – of myself, my partner, my life and my work. But it wasn’t always easy and it sure didn’t come naturally at first. I was resistant, just like my clients.
But, little by little things did change, including my beliefs about what’s possible. As I did the work on me, significant changes began to take place in my relationship and in life. And the best part of what I do is witnessing the same thing happen for others.
I used to think I was open to love until I discovered what real love truly felt like.
I’m going to suggest to you give it a try. Pick something you love and commit to doing it with consistency. Create a daily practice for yourself that will lead to the life you desire and are worthy of. Yes, I just went there and snuck that motivational quote in. You are worthy! Deal with it and commit to you.
Take a small bite of the proverbial apple every day by creating a morning practice to ward off potential overwhelm. I was resistant, when I first started my morning practice, but now if I skip it, my day doesn’t feel as good. I know from experience, that with practice, most new things can feel natural over time. Heck, you might even start to believe that the world really is your oyster and you can have it all. Wink, wink.
A daily practice of committing to your own feel goods won’t heal all the old wounds but it’s the best place to start. When you’re ready for more there are great healers in this world who are here to help – myself included.
A few years ago, after the tide had turned and I fell more in love with my love life than ever before, I found an ornament of a pig with wings. I went from a sarcastic, ‘Yeah right, when pigs fly’ to a believer that yes, they really do and anything is possible. This is how you make love great.
p.s. If you’re ready for more and want support, reach out. I’m here.