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Wouldn’t our relationships be great if everyone was happier? I think so – but I also think it would be even better if we aimed for something higher than happy.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being happy. In fact, recently I was meditating on something that made me happy, and the little voice in my head said, ‘That’s not enough’. And I knew it meant to go for joy.

Joy is being unapologetically authentic, fulfilled and free from the things that dim your light.

Joy is the ultimate personal goal to aim for. If each partner healed their wounds and felt joyfully fulfilled independent of one another, then the unity of their relationship would be nothing short of blissfully exquisite.

I use the word joy a lot. A lot more than I ever used to, and I’ve had more than a couple clients ask me why I use ‘joy’ instead of ‘happy’. In the past I’ve had a vague but somewhat sufficient answer about how happy seemed superficial, whereas joy eluded to a sense of something deeper and more connected. This was something I believed in my core, and my clients have said they got it, but I hadn’t put a lot of energy into defining why.

Until now – when I saw a meme that summed it up fairly well. Full transparency, I recreated it here changing out a few words because I believe verbiage counts – sometimes more than others.

There are a lot of things in life that ‘make’ us happy. Your partner can speak in your love language and you feel happy. You see a text from that certain someone and you feel happy.

But joy is different. Joy is fulfillment. Joy comes from within. Joy originates from a profound connection to your spirit – to your higher self. Joy is what you attain when you’re free of old beliefs and paradigms that dim your light and your radiance.

Everyone has the capacity to thrive fully in joy, but the ability to do so is compromised by unprocessed, or ineffectively, processed pain and traumas. Finding your way out of relationship problems and into joy is a journey worth the time and every penny.

I speak from my own personal experience. I went from my outside package and life looking pretty good while I felt like I was dying on the inside, to my inside feeling better than my outside life could ever hope to be.

I also speak from the point of view of my clients who tell me they never knew life could feel so free. A few have told me I actually saved their life. High praise but they’re the ones to give your credit to. They are the ones who decided what they wanted and dug in to make it happen. This is something everyone can do and it’s possible for you too.

Happiness is a great goal to strive for but joy from within is the ultimate high. Click To Tweet

Happiness is a great goal to strive for but joy from within is the ultimate high.

Bring the goal of happy to your relationship and sex life, and you’ll probably have a pretty good time. Bring joy to your relationships and sex life and you’ll know exquisite bliss – from the inside out.

Remember, we don’t call babies bundles of happy, we call them bundles of joy. And the book isn’t called the Happy of Sex, it’s called the Joy of Sex.


Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. You are worthy of making joy your personal and relationship goal. Contact me and let’s chat.