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Before I get into taking a deeper look at sexual desire and the new ‘pink pill’, I want to be transparent and own that I’m not an expert when it comes to pharmaceuticals – not by any stretch of the imagination. I’m a sexologist and I take a holistic approach when looking at sexual and relational issues.

I have apprehension about the drug Addyi, made by Sprout Pharmaceuticals.

I have even deeper worry and compassion for the women who feel that this is their only hope. Or worse yet, may end up taking it simply to satisfy their partner.

‘The Pink Pill’ ‘Female Viagra’ ‘Libido Pill’ ‘Addyi’ Flibanserin’ – No matter what you call it, it’s a drug! A drug that: “could cause side effects like low blood pressure, fainting, nausea, dizziness and sleepiness” – Yea, I feel like having sex when I feel like any of those – not! The quote is from an article I recommend, outlining the timeline of the drugs path to approval by the F.D.A.

They claim this drug works by (from my understanding) changing the neurotransmitter chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin levels in the brain. What this is capable of doing is cutting down on the mind chatter that could lower desire. BUT that mind chatter might just be a red flag that needs to be looked at.

Taking a deeper look at sexual desire actually means taking a holistic look. Body, mind, heart and spirit.

Body: Are there health concerns, past or present? Mobility issues? What are your hormone levels? Pregnant? Peri-menopausal? Menopausal? Post-menopausal?

Mind: This is a biggie. What are your beliefs about sex? What are your hidden beliefs – the limiting ones that lurk beneath the surface? What are your memories about your early sexual experiences? What’s your story – the whole context?

Heart: What emotions come up when you think of sex? Why? What’s your heart’s desire and what are your passions? What’s the current state of your relationship? Are there past relational concerns that haven’t yet been addressed?

Spirit: What are your spiritual beliefs? What about your true essence and energy that is your spirit – are you tapped into that? Do you feel safe to express your full and unique essence? Do you hold back and keep yourself small? Do you live larger than life, wearing a mask that doesn’t speak your entire truth?

And there are people out there who think a pink pill will override any of the above!?!

I like the article I provided a link to above and here; and at the same time I’d like to challenge everyone to consider changing their language around sexual concerns.

Sexual concerns are only dysfunctions if it is a medical cause. If there is no medical cause it’s a difficulty. Words matter. Can we please stop medicalizing (yea, I made up that word) concerns that have nothing, or little, to do with medicine. Or fixing. Or drugs.

Sexual concerns require compassion and guidance to navigate the rocky terrain that is our humanness.

Desire concerns need more than a pink pill. It requires taking a deeper look at sexual desire so everyone can…

Live a Happy, Sexy Life!

Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. – low desire is only a concern if the person is paired with someone who has higher desire. Sexual desire levels that don’t match up can cause tension in the relationship. But not the good kind of sexual tension. Contact me if what I’ve wrote resonates with you.