5 Common Relationship Myths
Being in love is an amazing feeling and worth hanging on to. But in the face of troubled times it can feel like love is slipping away. Relationship myths are born all the time that we accept as truth because we’ve never been taught otherwise. And it’s those myths that make things more difficult than they need to be.
Here are 5 common relationship myths and facts:
1. You Must Completely Understand Each Other
Myth: Some think that in order to be happy and fulfilled, both emotionally and sexually, they need to be completely understood by their partner. The message is that understanding equals respect and love.
Trouble: Two people will never totally understand each other’s thoughts, emotions or desires. Understanding begins to equate with ‘agree with me’.
Reality: Understanding each other is secondary to honouring each other’s differences. When you feel honoured you feel loved and accepted even if your partner doesn’t totally get you.
2. Solve Your Other Problems First & Intimacy Will Improve
Myth: Some think that if they get other areas in their life sorted out first (work, money, health, etc.) that will reduce stress so they’ll feel closer and have better sex.
Trouble: There will always be outside problems to deal with and if your relationship isn’t fulfilling, you don’t have a safe refuge to weather other storms.
Reality: By improving your emotional connection and getting your sex life on track first, it improves your overall view of yourself, each other and your relationship. This positive shift allows you to better handle and overcome problems in other areas of your life.
When all areas of life feel heavy, develop deep intimacy first. That will give you the energy and focus to handle life’s other troubles.
3. Arguments Indicate Relationship Problems
Myth: Some think that good communication in a healthy relationship should focus on compassion with no arguments or conflict.
Trouble: It’s related to number 1 above. Complete understanding is a relationship myth. Even the happiest of couples have arguments – sometimes loudly.
Reality: What matters more than the argument is how you argue and how you resolve things afterward. Keep the argument about what’s at hand (no mud slinging or bringing up the past) and after things have calmed, reach out with kindness.
4. Responsibilities Should Be Equally Shared
Myth: Some think that in a successful relationship there should be an equal division of labor – 50/50.
Trouble: It leads to scorekeeping. “I’m doing this. Why aren’t you doing that?” This leads to resentments and more relationship problems.
Reality: When you look at the relationship as a whole you’ll see that there are times when one partner is doing more than the other, and other times it’s reversed. When you focus on intimacy and see the positive in each other, you’re better equipped to support each other and you’ll feel happier and more relaxed.A truly equitable relationship is one where love is both given and received fully. Click To Tweet
5. Getting Outside Help Should Be a Last Resort
Myth: Some think that if they really love each other they should be able to work things out on their own. Seeing a professional is something to feel ashamed of.
Trouble: It’s hard to have a third-party perspective when you’re in it, and people sometimes wait far too long to ask for help. They become more entrenched in their negative patterns making it a longer road back to positive connection.
Reality: When you have a professional in your corner you each feel supported. Their wisdom will guide you through a process of untangling the web one string at a time. No matter what state your level of intimacy is or isn’t, seek help from a professional.
Relationship problems are energy draining and can leave you feeling helpless. If you want your relationship and sex life to be amazing, start the work now.
Live a happy, sexy life!
Dr. Gayle Friend
p.s. Don’t leave things to chance and risk the worst. Start by watching a 3-part video series on love, intimacy and sex. It’s FREE and it’s your best first step.