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When a woman experiences pleasure and can reach orgasm it has the power to transport her to a state of bliss. If she can reach it. The trouble is that approximately 70% of women need stimulation other than intercourse. The good news is that by knowing your body and what’s possible it paves the way to ecstasy.

What I teach women, and men, is that there are 3 primary places on a woman’s body that when stimulated can result in orgasm. The G-Spot, the cervix and the clitoris.

Sometimes it takes the stimulation of two or all three of these simultaneously to reach orgasm.

Turned On

That leaves the other 2 primary places that might need to be stimulated for a woman to reach orgasm. Her mind and her heart. If her mind isn’t stimulated with sexy thoughts and she doesn’t feel emotionally connected, accepted or desired for more than her body it impedes her orgasms. Foreplay is a 24/7 opportunity to turn your partner on by tuning into her words and emotions. And it requires a woman’s willingness to be open to being turned on in life. The more tuned in she is to pleasures that aren’t sexual the higher her chances of surrendering to the pleasures that bring about orgasm.

Slow Down

Get to know your body by exploring what brings you the most pleasure. Not every woman experiences the same type of orgasm. You might get more pleasure from one area being stimulated than another. There is no right way. Take your time with this and relax! Trying to control it or make it happen doesn’t allow your body to naturally respond. Surrender to Pleasure.

Be sure to share your discoveries with your partner. Or if you’re more comfortable share the journey of discovering your pleasure together.

Orgasms & pressure don't mix. Relax into pleasure to allow your body to naturally respond. Click To Tweet


G-spot StimulationG-spot orgasms happen with good pressure. This image shows the approximate location of the Grafenberg Spot (otherwise known as the G-Spot) and one of the best ways to stimulate it – your partner’s fingers. You may need a variety of motions, speed and pressure to reach orgasm. Don’t give up if it doesn’t happen quickly or the first few times. It takes time to coax your g-spot to life.

On the other side of things stimulating your g-spot may feel very intense and make you feel like you might pee. That’s what’s known as female ejaculation and no it is NOT pee. Relax into the sensation and allow yourself to experience the release and pleasure.


Cervical orgasms happen by stimulating the cervix, which is the opening to your uterus. Or if you’re like me and have had a partial or full hysterectomy you still have nerve endings where your cervix was that can be stimulated to orgasm. The nerve endings of the cervical area vary from woman to woman and can be very sensitive so the amount of pressure for pleasure will vary too. A penis or dildos that either vibrate or not can all lead to a cervical orgasm


Clitoral orgasms happen by stimulating the clitoris with your fingers, a vibrator or your partner’s fingers or tongue. Start with light pressure and speed and increase both to find just the right amount of touch. For some women the exposed tip of the clitoris is extremely sensitive so direct stimulation may be too intense. Try stimulating the unexposed area of the clitoris that extends up and under the clitoral hood. Click here to watch a quick video showing the size and shape of the entire clitoris. It’s much larger than most people realize.

For more on how to reach orgasm please read a previous article I wrote about pleasure and orgasms.

Live a happy, sexy life!

Dr. Gayle Friend

p.s. I invite you to leave a comment below and share this by using your favorite social media buttons.