Are These 3 Myths Stifling Your Sexual Desire?
A relationship steeped in love and intimacy, without sex problems, is amazingly fulfilling – to say the least. But these three myths about sex could be the cause of trouble in the bedroom – and there’s nothing sexy about that. Let’s take a look at them here:
1. Lack of Desire = No Sex
Myth: Some think they need to feel strong sexual desire before beginning any activity that might have the potential to lead to sex.
Trouble: You’re busy and stressed. Mind chatter of troubles weighing on you kills desire. But great sex eases stress, is bonding and helps you face the world.
Reality: Once you learn how to feel into desire, desire has a place to grow from. In other words, relax and begin by enjoying kissing and allow your body to respond. Be willing to allow desire to grow. Take your time. Don’t expect instant results. By welcoming in the possibility of desire, desire grows.
A relationship steeped in love, intimacy and great sex is fulfilling and attainable.
2. Sex Should Be Spontaneous
Myth: This rides the coat tails of the first myth. Some think the best sex is spontaneous after you’re in the mood.
Trouble: Who has time? And who isn’t exhausted by the end of the day? If you don’t nurture your sex life then you can count on having more sex problems.
Reality: You plan everything else in your life so why ‘should’ your sex life be any different? Try this: Agree on a day and time for sex. Write it down and make it a non-negotiable. This sets the wheels of anticipation in motion. Build each other’s anticipation by sending “Can’t wait to…” texts. Let your lover know you desire them – body, mind, heart and spirit. When you feel desired on every level it fuels you.
Build your own anticipation by imagining your lover’s hands caressing you, kissing your tender places. Imagine the warmth of their breath on your skin and the lovely shape of their…Spontaneity is overrated. Anticipation is where it’s at. Click To Tweet
3. Sex Is For The Young & Sexy
Myth: Some think that it’s normal for sex to wane in long-term relationships and that passion is only for the young and sexy.
Trouble: That way of thinking robs you of you vitality and sexuality.
Reality: Passion is a feeling that comes from within and can be cultivated. Your sexuality is part of you from cradle to grave. Your sexuality is part of your essence. Being sexually active is honoring your spirit. Sharing that with another is a loving, passionate bonding experience.
Sex and sexuality doesn’t have a best before date.
The happiest of relationships have a balancing of love, intimacy and sex. When one or more of these is missing or lacking, the balance of the relationship is at risk. There is no such thing as perfect – relationship problems and sex problems will ebb and flow. The key is to nurture intimacy. Intimacy is the gateway to great sex and love that lasts! Throughout life.
Live a happy, sexy life!
Dr. Gayle Friend
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